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“What is this?” I asked

My dermatologists response was, “This is a shot that … [insert some jargon I didn’t fully understand].”

“Oh … okay.  As long as it works and gets rid of the pimple, whatever …” I thought.

I was in my teens.  I had really bad acne.  I was getting a new pimple or two everyday on my face.  It was rare that I would wake up and not have a new zit forming on my face.  Touching my face hurt.

Sometimes I could feel the pulsating of the pimple on my nose if it was big enough.

It disgusted me.  I looked disgusting.  I felt disgusting.  

God, I would be like this forever.

No one could ever love me.

I had worked hard all summer and saved up a couple thousand dollars.  I spent it all on him and that “shot,” whatever the heck that was.

This dermatologists was referred to me by a good friend who had her acne treated by him too.  She said he was really good.  And he was.  He was good at what he did.  Temporarily covering up acne, but not curing it.

At the time, I didn’t know any better though, he was a popular dermatologist in the area, he could get rid of pimples and that’s all that mattered.  For most people, that’s really all that matters, “Does it work?”  If yes, then okay, get this pimple off my face!

I went back over and over to him every time there was a big pimple that I couldn’t pop.  I lost track how many times I went back because the pimples just kept coming.

I was always really relieved when I was there because I knew that the pimple would be gone by the next day with that magical shot he gave me.

Then one time I wanted the shot and he hesitated …

“Uhm … Ray, it’s probably not a good idea if I give you the shot this time.”

I didn’t understand.  “How come?  It was fine the other times.  It works, I don’t understand why you can’t give it to me.”

I was paying for it, it worked, why was he hesitating?

He thought about it, then gave me the shot anyway.

Whew … for a minute there, I thought I was going to have to deal with this giant pimple for the next weeks on the tip of my nose.  Who knew how long that pimple was going to stay there and I would have to walk around with this red bulbous unicorn horn.

The shot usually hurt a little bit.  Hell, it was a shot.  It wasn’t pleasant.  But I was happy because the shot into the pimple usually made it go away within 24 hours.  I would go to sleep and wake up the next morning, then that pimple was gone.

POOF.

Magic.

On the way back, I didn’t think too much about why he hesitated this time when the half dozen times before he just gave me the shot.

I went on with my life, popping my pimples as they came up, and I continued to get new pimples every day around my jawline and cheeks.  And then a couple weeks, a big one came up right between my eyes.  It was big and DEEP.

I couldn’t pop it and I didn’t want to take the risk of leaving a scar right between my eyes.  So I went back to this dermatologist and asked for the shot.

“Sorry, I don’t think I can give you the shot this time.”

I asked why.

It was a long and complicated answer I didn’t understand.

Remember, at this time, I was still in my teens.  I didn’t have the medical nutrition and holistic health training that I have now.  I didn’t know what I know now.

So I just listened to whatever it was that he recommended.

After all, he was the expert.  He was a licensed dermatologist.  He was a professional and I trusted him to do what was best for me.  But just like the other dermatologists I saw before him, he was just out to give me what I wanted – make the pimple go away (but he could NOT make my acne go away).

“I can’t give you the shot, but we can try this instead.  Why don’t I put you on this medication [insert new medication name].”

This time, the dermatologist told me he couldn’t give me the shot so he put me on a different medication.  I’ve tried many of these before.  They usually take a lot longer and don’t work as quickly.

I kept pushing for the shot but he wouldn’t give to me.  This time I asked more questions.

Why can’t I have the shot again?

What’s wrong with the shot?

What’s the shot called?

He was writing on his clipboard and not making eye contact with me.

He was giving me answers that were curt and indirect.

Excuse me doctor, what was that shot called that you were giving me before?

He told me the name which I don’t remember now.  I didn’t know what it was at the time either.  I just wrote it down on a piece of paper and went home to look it up.

I went online and did some research on the name of the injection he was giving me.

What I found shocked me …

Steroids.

I found out that was what he was injecting me with.  I was shocked.  I mean, I was willing to do a lot to cure my acne, but inject myself with steroids?  I don’t know about this one.

It would be great if he stopped my pimples, but to end up with man breasts and a $!@!#^ kidney with all the health side effects that I heard about?!

No way.

This is where I draw the line.

I want to get rid of this pimple, but not at the cost of man breasts.

I don’t want man boobies.

Okay, all jokes aside, I wasn’t absolutely sure that these steroids at this level would lead to man boobies, but one thing was for sure: he definitely did not warn me about these side effects, he did not inform CLEARLY that I was getting an injection of steroids, and he did not seem to have a problem giving me half a dozen or so of these shots along with many, many, MANY other treatments.

But then again, who knows?

Maybe the steroids he was injecting me with could have led to something?

And what if they led to man breasts?  Worse, what if I never cured my acne and now had an additional problem of man boobies?

Wow, I can’t even imagine what kind of embarrassment that would cause me even in my adult years after my acne FINALLY went away.

All in all, I got scared.

What else was this guy giving me?

Wasn’t he supposed to do what’s best for me?

This definitely not good for me.

And my acne isn’t even better!

After years of going to him, it’s actually worse now!

That was the last time I ever got those shots.

There were other things that he gave me, which you can read more about it here, and I continued to go see him.

The sad thing was, I had nowhere else to go.  I didn’t know any other dermatologist that could make results happen.

The truth was that he didn’t care about my body, he didn’t care about my health, he didn’t care about me.  He was just looking to make that pimple go away so I could think he was doing his job and pay him.

It was just about money.

It wasn’t until a couple months later, after THIS, that made me finally realize it was time to find a different solution.

However, after finding out that he was giving me steroidal shots, I started doubting the POWER of dermatologists.

Maybe they didn’t know everything?

Maybe they didn’t care if I cured my acne or not?

Maybe there’s another solution out there that I’m missing?

There’s got to be someone who has cured his acne the right way.

I’m kind of glad this happened because if it didn’t, I might still be going to him and paying him every few weeks for more treatment.   Who knows how bad my acne would be now and how many new acne scars I would have.

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